Saturday, May 15, 2010

Let's talk about affairs.....

Okay, this topic is "heavy', but I feel the need to say it.  As a Counselor, I see a LOT of married people...well, truth be told, I see a lot of ONE part of the married couple.  I've been a Counselor since 1974 and so I've seen and heard a LOT.  More often than not, the one I see is the wife.  So, it is with that in mind, I'm simply going to make some observations that are directed to the husbands....
1)..  The phrase, "We're just good friends" doesn't wash. " Good friends" are generally not a man and a woman nor do they  spend countless hours on the cell phone either in conversation or in texts.
2)...  I know that the 'new woman' is fresh and exciting, but don't fool yourself into thinking her breath won't smell and she won't nag.  One day, she'll be just like the woman you married that you think is so 'yesterday'.  All new brooms sweep clean.
3)... Don't think that your new relationship will last.  If it was born from an adulterous affair, it's foundation is made of sand.  Trust me.  You've fallen for a cheater.  So has she.  Who can trust a cheater??
4)...When you divorce your spouse, you divorce your children.  You and your wife were their foundation.  You've cracked it.
5)... Talking ugly about your ex or soon-to-be-ex to your children is sending the message to them that part of them is "bad".  They are half you/half mom.  You're telling them that half of them is no good.
6)... No matter how much you think you'll be in the lives of your children and that it won't change a're wrong.  Picture another man (woman) parenting your children.  It's going to happen.  And you can't do a blame thing about it.
7)...If you're divorced and you keep taking your ex back to court over child support, you're doing nothing but using your children as a source of income.

....There's plenty more where that came from and I might get into it later in another blog. I've just been so burdened by several counseling cases I've been involved in lately and felt the need to say some of these things.  If it pertains to you, I hope you'll heed my expertise.  If none of this pertains to you, forgive me for getting off the path.  

Whew!  I feel better.

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